It’s just a dress. But it’s the dress. The one you’ll see in photos every day when you walk down the hallway. The one that you’ll pull out to show your daughter when she’s six and asks about you and daddy. The one that you’ll spend the best day of your life in.
And the dress that’s supposed to take his breath away.
(But hey, it’s just a dress).
At the moment, I’m looking for mine. I love clothes, and I love fashion, but putting together an outfit for work or for a casual Saturday is very different to finding the dress in which to marry the person you love. Add to that the myriad of body image issues we all have and the pressure of a one-on-one consultation with a sales assistant, and you have what is potentially a very stressful occasion.
My Shopping Experience
For me, the stress of dress shopping came from two factors:
I travel for work, and I do so frequently. Many of my trips are relatively last minute. I wanted my Mum to be involved in the dress shopping, and my Future-Mother-in-Law (she has no daughters, so I really wanted her to experience the whole dress-shopping saga). But with my Mum working every second Saturday and FMIL working as a school teacher (read: all week), organising a time when all three of us were available felt like co-ordinating the London Olympics.
2. What the heck do I want?
I’ve been flip-flopping from a big, plush, light-as-a-cloud skirt to sleek, fitted, trumpet-style with lace. The problem is, I love them both! The only part of the dress I’m sure of is the bodice, which I want to be relatively fitted with a sweetheart neckline. Then there was the added complication of my Mum and FMIL falling in love with a dress that I couldn’t stand. It was the wrong colour, too heavily beaded/blingy, didn’t have the neckline or waist that I wanted, and I honestly just felt “blah” in it. But they cried. And were adamant it was perfect. What to do? The reaction I wanted came several dresses too early.
What to do?
After trying on about 20 dresses, I now have a short-list of four. Although I’m not sold on any of them: I like them, but I don’t love them. My goal now is to keep looking, but maybe just on my own for a little while. The pressure of worrying about how I look, how I feel, whether I could wear the dress for an entire day, whether my Mum and FMIL love it, whether my groom will love it, does it suit the venues, etc… combined with thinking about how they’re feeling as my appointment drags on and I’m not happy with any of the gowns…
It’s a little too much like hard work. This time I’ll just focus on what I think. Then, if I like one, I’ll get them to come and see it.